Starting Over
How To Manifest Your Dream Life
Written from experience by Lindsey Mickelson Hoadley
Starting Over
I am about to share a story with you that I have never shared on social media or in public, ever. I am sharing this with you so that I can truly paint the picture of how I completely changed my life in two years with this mindset practice. I created this practice with the help of the powerfully conscious women in my life who taught me all of this. This practice healed my life and helped my business to flourish.
Years ago, I found myself in the darkest chapter of my life. I had fallen into a narcissistic trap of manipulation and psychological warfare with an abusive partner for many years. Before him, I had been a print shop owner and was incredibly independent, took care of myself, and lived in this joyous confidence that I could literally do anything I set my mind to.
But when you fall for a narcissist, and don't get out in time, they slowly and methodically chip away at your soul and your mind until you are nothing left but pulp on the ground. You literally become an empty shell.
In the process of it all, I had lost everything. He had talked me in to selling my business when I became pregnant. It was a great way to make me completely dependent on him. And it worked. I didn't see it coming. I gave up my beloved business that brought me security and my identity since I was in my early 20's.
By the time I was able to finally flee literally in the middle of the night, I was 32 years old with an almost 2 year old little daughter and I had almost nothing left to my name.
I felt so jaded and lost, but that was only the surface part. Inside, I had been completely rewired by my abuser. The successful powerful badass I had been my entire life was now a paranoid, scared, pitiful disaster. But I had this beautiful little girl who depended on me. And I had to fix what I allowed to get broken.
What I did know was that I was very powerful. I had always had this capability to manifest things. I was taught this power as a kid. I literally could bring in jobs, desires, boyfriends, all kinds of things throughout high school and college. I demonstrated this power over and over during all of my 20's as an entrepreneur living in Santa Barbara, CA. I always made shit happen. And for some crazy reason, during that darkest chapter, I had forgotten my manifesting power. It was time to get back to it if I wanted to pick up my shattered pieces. It was either that, I would die.
Picking Up the Pieces. Remembering My Truth.
So, I started with my first task. I had to find a safe sanctuary for my daughter and I to go to. The list. That's right! THE LIST. That is how I used to always start all manifestations. The list. Write the list, Lindsey. I wrote down exactly what I needed, in detail, and read it outloud 3x every morning. I wrote it as if it was happening now: "I have a safe home that I can afford in *the specific town I need to live in* with a special outdoor space for my toddler and I to thrive in. I have my soulmate house in the right time, location, and price." I said that in my mind all day every day, it was all I focused on. Three weeks later, I got the house. There was a long list of possible tenants and I was chosen. The day I moved in, there was a huge pile of white feathers in the middle of my private gate entrance. If that is not a sign from my Angels, I don't know what is. (And sidenote: the day I moved out of that house 2 years later to move in with my then fiance, a pile of white feathers appeared again at my gate, but this time there was a bloody bird heart laying in the middle of the feather pile. I literally cannot make these things up. CRAZY!)
I filled that little house with crystals, unicorns, mermaids, my warrior women paintings, and plants, and called it my new feminine sanctuary. I told my daughter our new house was called the Unicorn House.
Facing the Sadness. Becoming Weightless Again.
My next step in the healing process was to face my depression and feel my sadness. I didn’t cover it up or deny it or pretend I wasn’t feeling it. I cried all the time - when my daughter wasn’t looking. I allowed myself to be depressed and to sit with my feelings of disparity for however long I needed to. I began to slowly come out of it 6 months later and I started to feel again and what I began to feel was Self Love. I hadn’t felt it in a long time. I started to soul search to remember that strong woman I had been before, and to gently explore this new woman I was becoming.
This is when I wrote my next set of lists. I wrote my manifestation lists and prayers, and I focused on them almost every day. I wrote a manifestation list for my business, for my personal life, and for my new life partner. I was absolutely not looking for love, but I knew it was never too early to simply start the manifestation process.
My goal was to become limitless, weightless, and to live the life that we all deserve and are capable of living. I was determined to live in abundance and love and immense light. I didn’t have to be sad anymore, and I most certainly did not have to swim upstream in life anymore. I was still being abused by my daughter's Dad who was now my co-parent. And I needed to get to a place where I wasn't attracting abuse daily anymore. I was proactive and knew that I control my life within my mindset. I was ready to live my truth, shed the layers and become the BEST version of myself.
My routine became this: Every morning before I started work I took my daughter to preschool, I exercised, came home and made my coffee, sat outside in my feminine sanctuary, and I PRAYED. I read my 3 manifestation lists 3 times each, felt the sun on my face, took deep breaths and cleared my mind. I prayed that I relinquished everything inside of me that was holding me back, that was fear based, and full of lack and limitation. I went within and I forgave myself for everything and truly focused on loving myself. I gave myself the love and the validation that I had been searching for previously. We don’t need to go outside of ourselves and search for it in other places and from other people. That was a HUGE lesson I learned during this time. I healed this by becoming really good at self love, self care, and self reflection (and other things we will discuss later). I went slow, I was easy on myself, and very patient with my healing. I began to go to therapy during this time as well. And that was another key part of my resurrection.
I'm Baaaaaaaack.....
Fourteen months later, my manifestations began to come to fruition. When I was a new single mom, I felt like I needed a million different jobs in order to have the income I needed to raise my little girl (I never received a penny of child support, so I was really in this on my own). I got 5 jobs: I was a cocktail waitress at night when my daughter was with her dad, I was a fitness instructor (I was trying to stay active and thought it was a great idea to get paid for working out, plus it took me out of my comfort zone and I really like doing that to myself!), I was a freelance designer, I ran clients’ social media accounts, and I ran my own website and wholesale business, Mothersun and the Captain. At some point I was working myself to death. All of a sudden, I got a message from the Universe, and she told me to quit all my jobs and focus on my business. And within 2 months, I had quit all of them. Nonetheless, I was terrified. I booked a feng shui appointment with an expert whom I will tell you more about later. She came to the Unicorn House and turned it upside down. We got rid of every last bit of the remaining things that came with me from the last chapter. We cleared the energy, cleansed it, and put the appropriate things in place in order for my house to work with my new found energy. It was an amazing experience. I painted all of my walls, bought a ton of new plants, and I did every single thing she told me to do.
Literally two weeks later after that Feng Shui appointment, more magic unfolded. Two weeks later, my now husband (a dear friend of mine for over a decade) miraculously walked back into my life. I moved my Mothersun website from Squarespace to Shopify (after receiving another message from the Universe), and my income doubled. All of a sudden I had reached the two biggest things on my manifestation lists: 1. I started making thousands of dollars a month from my business, and 2. I had found my true soulmate. They happened 14 months after I began my mindset process.
Today, I have a thriving business that makes me so incredibly happy. I have the most supportive and loving customers my business could ever ask for. I am in the most healthy and empowered relationship I have ever been in. I am living in a fairytale, and I did it myself. My mind, my heart, and my soul did it. And if I could do it, you can too.